


Gratitude

by strawberryjunhee



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryjunhee/pseuds/strawberryjunhee
Summary: Donghun finds time to reflect in between his busy schedules.





	Gratitude

**Author's Note:**

> This is me just talking about my feelings for Park Junhee through Donghun.  
> I am also procrastinating. I don't update my other stories by writing new ones.

Busy schedules were a sign of success in Donghun's mind. It could be a coping mechanism that he uses so he doesn't collapse from stress sometimes, but it works. Small, brief moments of serenity do make their way into the schedules though. And besides scrolling through Twitter or Instagram to see what stuff choices are up to, Donghun likes to think about things.

Junhee was someone he thought about a lot. And Yuchan. Both of them really.

He was grateful that he actually got to know Junhee. That Donghun didn't immediately shut down the concept of friendship when he first met Junhee. Junhee gave off the impression that if you and he were going to be fellow members, it's a business-only relationship. The younger has an incredibly serious and intimidating aura when you first see him. Now, of course, the thought of Junhee being intimidating made him laugh. That kid had so many fears and got startled so easily it was ridiculous. Once Donghun and Junhee had really become friends, the intimidation turned to soft smiles, high-pitched laughter, and lip bites. Junhee was just shy and quiet, not scary in the slightest.

It made Donghun melt half-no all of the time. All of the members, except maybe Junhee, knew Donghun was lying when he said Jun was his least favorite member. It was for the cameras primarily. Fans see everything and speculated about the tiniest of interactions. If any fans got to close to finding the truth, it was game over for them. Donghun knew Junhee couldn't handle much more rejection. 

And that brings Donghun to his next point, he is relieved Junhee hadn't debuted without him. Junhee is eager to please and utterly terrified of disappointment. Loves to feel like he is needed by someone, which is why Junhee listens to all of the members' concerns. Someone like that can easily be taken advantage of. Any company can take that eagerness and use it to their own accords. Donghun is grateful that Beat Interactive treats them like humans. _K_ _nows_ that their human. He dreads the day they stop. The day the company becomes only focuses on money and forgets that idols have their breaking points as well.

Then there is another part of him that wishes Junhee debuted sooner. Their high ages put them at a disadvantage. Most idols go to military service at their age. He doesn't want A.C.E to be that "only if" group. Only if they were younger. Only if they had debuted sooner. All of the members are somewhat aware of it. Junhee is highly aware of it. Almost like he knows their fame might be short-lived. Donghun can't help but wonder if that's what his boyfriend has nightmares about.

Junhee is a fantastic leader, Donghun has reached that conclusion. He doubts A.C.E would have made it this far if they had anyone else. That being said, Junhee definitely isn't a leader when it comes to anything else. Junhee is timid. One might not think that because when the other was on stage, he practically reeked of confidence. Donghun learned very quickly that there was a difference between "Jun" and "Junhee". Jun was the charismatic leader that has his quiet moments when he looks at his members in pride. Someone who can woo fangirls with his voice and dancing. Takes the lead in vlives and interviews without blinking an eye. Junhee was the boring teammate that gets scared at jumpscare videos. Someone who doubts his own abilities to the maximum. Junhee was the one that Donghun has grown to love.

Timid is the correct word for their leader. Years of training, coming so close to debut and it never following through and changing companies has taken its toll on Junhee. Slowly tearing away at Junhee's self-esteem. He couldn't say Junhee needed protection. Junhee didn't. He had enough determination and passion to ignore the voices in his head that says he can't do something. At the same time, Junhee did need protecting. Because with those positive qualities came this desire for perfection. That eagerness to please easily blends in with it as well.

It makes Donghun want to wrap Junhee up in a warm blanket, give him a billion pillows and feed the younger strawberry yogurts all day. 

Idol life doesn't give Donghun a lot of time to just unwind with Junhee. They have to do everything quickly. Thank god Junhee is so sensitive. It has its disadvantages too. Junhee grilled him when Donghun grabbed his leg in the middle of a vlive. Donghun thought nothing of it but Junhee was miserable for the rest of the day.

He remembers Junhee asking to top one day. Donghun agreed, not really minding. It lasted 5 minutes before Junhee's face turned red and he spewed out apologies. Donghun had his doubts about Jun being on top the second he asked. Junhee isn't built for it. 

Junhee looks better on the bottom than he does anyway. All soft whines and pants. Junhee could stay quiet sometimes. Donghun just had to promise praise and Junhee would shut up immediately. So,  _so_ eager to please. Junhee always looks like he would break from the slightest provocation under the morning rays or the eerie light from the moon. Donghun just couldn't be rough with him. It felt like a crime.

God, Donghun was whipped.

"Hyung, we have to head to dance practice soon" Junhee called out from the hallway. "Get ready".

When Donghun didn't reply, Junhee walked into the room. "What are you thinking about?"

"You" Donghun replied.

Junhee scoffed playfully. "You can think about me on the walk to the studio!"

Yeah, he can.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Do you guys remember when Donghun said Junhee had low self-esteem?  
> Yeah  
> That's why I am writing this at 2 a.m.


End file.
